Mean In Mystic Falls
by queenofmysticfalls
Summary: What happens when Elena is raised by two gay dads (damon & alaric) in a world without the supernatural where her, Bonnie, and Caroline rule Mystic Falls High School? Find out in this AU set in a Mean Girls-esque world. Warning: lots of profanity


**A/N: this story takes place in an AU where they are all human. jeremy is tyler's brother instead of elena's. damon and alarm are two gay fathers who adopted elena at birth and have adored her ever since.**

"fuck is it time to get up already ugh i fucking hate my life" elena cursed as she hit the snooze button on her alarm at 6:00am on friday morning

she went back to sleep for another 15 minutes before her dad alaric poked his head through the door and saw she was asleep.

"hunny its time to get up" he said flicking on the lights. "its friday sweetheart come on you don't want to be late"

"fine alaric stop omg go make me some toast ok" elena shouted as she began to get up.

"ok sweetheart i love you so much ur daddies little princess" alaric said before he strutted off to make his sweet baby some toast.

some might think that life had been difficult for elena being the only child of two gay dads but truth be told she loved her life. damon could be strict sometimes but alaric and damon both absolutely adored her. they bought her whatever her heart desired and let her do whatever she wanted. she loved her life.

elena took off her green day concert shirt she slept in every night and turned on the shower. tonight was a big football game and she was the headcheerleader and she was super excited. she stepped in the shower and started to sing her favorite kesha song then got out to look for the sexiest cutest outfit she could find. she needed to look seriously hot today i mean everybody was going to see her.

"hmmm what should i wear" she thought while flipping through her giant closet filled with really expensive designer clothing. she decided on a jean mini skirt, a lacy blue tank top, and a pair of sexy knee high boots. she topped it all of with her signature juicy couture charm bracelet and the locket her boyfriend matt had given her for their anniversary awhile ago. she wore it everyday. matt was the quarterback of the football team and elena was the cheerleader i mean it made sense that they were meant to be together. they were the power couple of the school and everybody wished they could be them.

after elena finished straightening her hair she put in a sparkly headband and put on some lipgloss and mascara before she went downstairs to eat her toast. when she arrived in the kitchen she saw damon doing a crossword puzzle and alaric making some pancakes.

"alaric omg i said to make me some toast why are there some pancakes here" she screamed in a fit of rage.

"elena thats no way to take to your father you know.." said damon in alaric's defense. elena loved her dads but damon could be such a little bitch sometimes.

"um w to the tf. daddy you know i don't eat pancakes i mean do you know how much carbs are in those i mean think of the calories omg do you want me to get fat and unpopular!" she said in her defense.

"you're right sweetie i forgot i just thought my little girl might want some shaped pancakes like when she was little" alaric said in shame as he showed her the assortment of pancakes shaped like purses and ponies. "ill make you some toast right away sweetie!"

"ugh whatever dad caroline just texted me and she's going to be here any minute to take me to school anyways. i got to go" elena said as she walked over to her dads and gave them both a kiss on the cheek. she grabbed her coach purse and strutted out the door when she heard caroline honk the horn outside the salvatore boarding house where she lived.

"get in bitch we're going to be late" caroline said as elena hopped in the passenger seat of her convertible.

'whatever slut. did you remember to get coffee?" elena exclaimed.

"duh!" bonnie giggled as she handed elena her low fat frappuchino from the back seat. elena pulled her dkny sunglasses out of her purse and put them on, smiling to herself. today was going to be a fabulous day.

elena, bonnie, and caroline approached the school and were driving into the parking when caroline began to screech.

"what's the matter babe, caught a glimpse of yourself in the rearview mirror?" elena giggled.

"shut up bitch look for yourself" caroline huffed while pointing to the best parking spot at the very front of the school. everybody knew it was their spot and nobody dared take. it was reserved for nothing less then the coolest bitches in the school but today sitting in THEIR spot sat a shiny silver mercedes.

upon noticing the vehicle elena's mouth dropped open in horror and she removed her designer sunglasses to get a better look.

"O TO FUCKING MG!" bonnie and elena both exclaimed.

"What the hell!? who would take out spot" caroline spat.

"i don't know but one things for certain- that. bitch. is. done." elena said darkly as she opened the door and stepped out of the car. "go park and meet me back here you sluts!"

caroline and bonnie had to park in the back away from the school entrance. they walked back to what was supposed to be there spot and rejoined with elena.

"i cant believe this. what should we do?" bonnie said.

"omg don't get made bonnie, you'll get frown lines. get even!" elena menacingly laughed as snatched caroline's keys and keyed "WATCH YOUR BACK BITCH" on the expensive merecedes.

"o-m-g elena i cant believe you did that!" caroline and bonnie giggled in admiration of their head bitch.

"this isn't over ladies. we still need to figure out whose car this is. however schools starting soon whores, and we need to make our entrance." elena replied. "today we'll walk in to the beat of "dontcha wish your gf was hot like me" by the pussycat dolls. remember to count the beat in your head this time bonnie! you cant make yourself look stupid again like last time. we all need to be stepping in sync!"

elena extended one arm to caroline and the other to bonnie. they looped their arms with hers and tossed their hair back.

"1… 2…. 3….!" elena exclaimed and they began to strut in through the doors of the school. everybody's eyes were on these three fabulous bitchs.

these first three blocks have been a fucking drag. give me the deets bitches." elena said as she sat down at their signature spot in the cafeteria with her salad and vitamin water.

"well jeremy lockwood has been all over that stupid druggie slut, vickie, that's banging half the basketball team for pot. " bonnie said.

"ew, bonnie. we don't fucking care. she's a wannabe slut and he's some stupid druggy kid. they're at the bottom of the social ladder. give me some REAL gossip." elena snapped.

"well i just thought you might want to know.. i mean tyler is his older brother and he's like the second coolest guy in school." bonnie blushed.

"Obvi- matt's the quarterback." elena said rolling her eyes. although it was obvious her boyfriend was the coolest guy in school elena still loved a reason to mention it and silently forgave bonnie for her stupid gossip contribution for giving her a reason too. "Now tell me what I really want to hear. who's figured out who took our spot?" she asked.

"thats the weird thing. nobody in school has that car. i checked it out and that model doesnt come out until next year." caroline sighed.

"ugh well I guess we will have to wait and see the bitch that goes to the car after school. Careee- do you got anything else for me?" elena whined.

"I overheard aimee bradley telling sarah that a new family moved here from europe. they're supposedly like- super rich." caroline replied

"as long as these new bitches know who's in charge we won't have a problem." elena shrugged. "maybe there will be a hot new guy for bonnie so she can stop obsessing over tyler's weirdo little brother.. "

"he's not weird elena- and ive told you don't have a thing for him." bonnie snapped.

"um ew. don't get bitchy." elena said and rolled her eyes. nobody talks to her like that. "any other news about the new fam caroline?"

caroline shook her head and was about to reply when the doors to the cafeteria opened up. the three girls turned their heads and watched as a tall blonde girl decked in heels and designer clothes strutted in.

"whos that?" asked a bewildered caroline.

"i've never seen her here before" elena said "she must be part of the new family?"

"shes pretty" breathed a wonderstruck bonnie.

"Seriously?" snorted elena. "she has some potential bonnie but come on. first jeremy now this skank? you'd better higher your standards if you want to sit with us."

caroline snickered while bonnie furiously blushed. they watched as the new girl got a lunch her and exited the cafeteria almost as quickly as she had arrived. elena was about to ask where they thought she was going when she spotted matt heading towards their table and began to smile. he sat on the bench next to elena and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before digging into his fries.

"babe don't be a pig." elena said trying to no avail to wipe the grease off his mouth as bits of fries flew into her hair.

"carboloading for the big night" matt tried to say while shoveling his meal down his throat like the disgusting animal he is.

"um you're not a fucking barbarian don't talk with your mouth full do u hear me bitch?" elena snapped.

matt gulped down his food then smiled and winked at his sassy girlfriend. matt was a self absorbed asshole but he was the quarterback and the most popular guy in school. elena HAD to date him i mean she had a rep to maintain.

elena sighed and rolled her eyes before leaning in to give the disgusting little slut a peck on the cheek as the bell signaling lunch was over went off.

"meet me at my locker after school" elena ordered to caroline and bonnie. "don't be late- we've got to find this dirty tramp."

elena stood up and slung her coach purse over her shoulder and turned to face matt as they were walking out of the cafeteria. she grabbed him by the collar of his letterman jacket and pulled him in for a deep kiss in front of the school like a dog peeing all over a fire hydrant. then the sassy diva turned on her heels and strutted her stuff out of the cafeteria while the students watched in awe of their fabulous queen bee.

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elena strutted into her last class of the day just before the bell rang and took her usual seat in the back corner by the window.

"miss gilbert, how nice of you to join us" snapped her history teacher. was almost 8 months pregnant and an extreme bitch.

elena didn't typically bother to show up to this class like she did with many of others until a few days ago when stupid lathore (or fat whore as elena and her friends cleverly called her) finally called home and notified her parents of her absences. had alaric answered the phone she wouldn't even be here right now. alaric adored her and would let her do whatever she pleased because she was his little princess. damon however could be more strict, and unfortunately he was the one to get the call. he threatened to take her phone away if she didn't at least show up for her classes like the little bitch he was.

elena simply rolled her eyes and snapped the bubble she had blown with her gum in response to this old hag. she couldnt risk sassing her teacher too much because she'd undoubtedly order her to stay after school for detention, and elena had a bitch to catch. mrs. lathore was gabbing on about some pointless shit they'd be learning for the rest of the week when elena felt her phone vibrate. she glanced at her phone and saw she had a text from caroline.

"omg new guy in my math class. he was assigned 2 be my lab partner for the rest of the year" elena read.

"is he hot?" elena replied. maybe they could finally get a decent guy for bonnie. elena had matt and caroline's been hooking up with tyler. bonnie has always been the third wheel tagging along like some dumb little puppy on their double dates. elena and bonnie had been friends forever but elena couldn't stand watching bonnie hang around in loserville for any longer. she HAD to find her a decent guy asap before bonnies rep climbed too far down the social ladder to be repaired.

"mm yes ;) any fresh meat in ur classes yet?" caroline replied.

elena was about to reply no when the door to her class opened. the blond girl from lunch rushed in 5 minutes after class had started looking a little confused. elena now had a chance to get a better look at this girl now that she was closer to her. she was tall, with medium length golden hair and a pretty face with full lips and long eyelashes. she was wearing a green prada dress that from the looks of it didn't come out until next season and a pair of 4 inch stilettos. she was pretty, confident, and definitely a threat to elena. she hasn't even heard her speak but elena already hated this blondie bitch.

"im sorry im late i had trouble finding this class." blondie said to the teacher with a minor accent.

"are you new here? didn't the school assign you a buddy?" mrs lather said.

"a buddy?" replied blondie.

"yes, all the new students here are paired with a peer for a week to show them the ropes. they show them where the classes are, invite them to sit with them at lunch, that kind of thing." replied fat whore.

"no, the she just gave me my schedule and pointed me towards my first class" blondie pouted.

"who helped you?" inquired mrs fat whore.

"um- i don't know. the alcoholic one. she reeked of jack daniels." blondie said with a toss of her hair. she must've been talking about the receptionist jan. she was by far the coolest faculty member in the school- she would excuse you if you were late to school regardless of the reason and never ratted the kids out for putting vodka in their water bottles. elenas skin crawled at the snotty tone blondie used towards jan. who did this bitch think she was?

"well dear, what's your name?" inquired mrs skankymcskank.

"rebekah." the blonde girl replied in a bored tone. "now where's my seat?"

mrs fat whores lips curled into a disgusting grin as her eyes settled on elena. oh fuck no elena thought. this bitch better not do what she looks like she's thinking about doing.

"you can sit in the back next to elena. wait, you need a buddy too don't you rebekah. well elena hunny you're free aren't you? why don't you show rebekah around for the next week." mrs lathore exclaimed gleefully. she was getting her revenge on elena for making her life as a teacher miserable. you could practically see the joy she got in pissing off elena oozing out of the giant nasty acne pores on fat whores face.

"um no actually im really busy with cheerleading and being the head popular bitch who runs this school. believe it or not mrs fat whore some people actually have a life in high school. obviously nothing you would know anything about." elena said in a bitchy tone with a condescending smile. fuck playing nice if this stupid bitch was going to go out of her way to make elenas life miserable she would be sure to repay the favor.

rebekah giggled at elenas comment while she took her seat next to elena in the back. the teachers smug smirk immediately turned to a frown as anger began to overtake her nasty wrinkly face.

"miss gilbert you are aware that 12th grade history is a class required to graduate. id simply hate to see you held back while all of your friends graduate." mrs fat whore snapped. although elena didn't show up to most of her other classes her teachers generally liked her and would give her enough points to pass. clearly this bitch was just jealous that elena was prettier and more popular then her. _so she's threatening me now?_ elena thought as she glared at the bitch. she hated this new girl and couldn't bare the thought of having to wheel her around like a puppy dog through the school for a week but she really didn't want to have to repeat a grade just because some dumb preggo teacher was jealous of her.

"i was the head cheerleader at my old school. i wouldn't mind attending the practices." rebekah quipped in.

"why that sounds like a great idea! elena will take you with her to practice, wont you elena?" mrs lathore replied cheerily.

elena, not seeing any other way out of this, simply nodded sweetly with a tight grin. she turned to rebekah and extended her hand.

"elena gilbert, charmed im sure." she said before focusing her attention to the window and remaining silent for the rest of the hour.

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after an excruciatingly long lecture about the civil war the final bell finally rang dismissing everyone from school. elena grabbed her purse and was heading out of the class towards her locker to meet up with her bitches when she heard someone shouting her name.

"elena wait up" rebekah said trotting behind her. ugh, what the hell did she want? elena thought while sighing.

elena turned around and was about to tell rebekah to get lost when she spotted mrs lathore watching them. _was she seriously expecting elena to show this new bitch around? _elena seriously needed to get to her locker to meet up with caroline and bonnie so they could catch the bitch who stole their sparking spot.

"yes?" elena asked with a warm smile. _maybe this isnt so bad.._ she thought. i mean this girl has **some** potential.. and it couldn't hurt to have a backup bonnie. i mean she was digressing everyday.

"i thought you could take me with you to practice. i'd love to try out for the team." rebekah asked sweetly. in that moment elena decided she would help this new girl out. i mean how could she not when blondie was looking at her with puppy dogs eyes. besides it couldn't hurt for her to have another adoring follower in her circle.

"it's a little late to join this season and we have a really big game tonight. if you really want you could sit in the bleachers and watch." elena replied vaguely. that wasn't technically true- kelly rotfield had broken her ankle and they needed a replacement but elena didn't really want a new girl on the team. especially a head cheerleader from another school.

"sounds great! i just need to drop my bag off in my car." rebekah chirped.

"see you later then" elena replied, annoyed that she was being kept from meeting up with her friends. she started to leave to go to her locker when she felt rebekah grab her arm.

"can you come with me? I don't really know where you guys hold practice. this place is pretty big and I haven't got the sense of things yet." rebekah asked cheerfully, oblivious to the fact that elena was about ready to smack this bitch right then and there. elena had fucking places to be and bitches to catch. she was going to tell her she'd meet her back here when she caught mrs. fat whore's eyes and the teachers expression clearly said that elena needed to escort this bitch to her car or there would be hell to pay.

giving in elena followed blondie out the front doors of the school ignoring her as she blabbered on about her old house in europe. hopefully the bitch who took their parking spot hadn't left yet. she pulled out her phone and was about to text caroline and bonnie to meet her out here when she heard blondie let out a scream.

"what is it?" elena asked looking up from her phone only to realize they were standing in front of a shiny silver mercedes with "WATCH YOUR BACK BITCH" keyed into the side of the passengers door.

"some bitch keyed my car!" rebekah spat in horror.

**What did you guys think? Want to hear more from the Original family? Should Stefan arrive in Mystic Falls? I'll post the new chapter if people review so please tell me what you think.**

**xoxo**


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